


Can someone write these titles for me or something

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: ... ;), Fluff, I may be dead but I'm also sometimes not dead, I'm allowed because honey I'm gay and I said so, IM SORRY OKAY, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Swearing, That's a lie, and im living for it, but if you're homophobic then just ignore the undertones they're minor don't worry, but not in the spell way that's not what I'm warning for, curse words, oof, the gays are here, yoongi is so done with everyone, yoonmin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-01-07 14:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18412412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Min Yoongi is the new potions master at Hogwarts (he may or may not have hacked his way in). So, when he enters the headmaster's office on his first day, he expected things to be mainly calm and about the maintenance of his precious storage cupboards that countless students seem to enjoy making out in. *cough* Drarry was a mess *COUGH*.What he didn't quite expect was for the herbology professor to come barging in covered in who knows what and making a mess all over McGonagall's perfectly cleaned stone flooring.And, you know, for him to be so goddamn attractive.





	1. · One ·

Hogwarts.

The school of dreams.

Min Yoongi was a well respected student there once upon a time, strutting about the corridors and glaring the living daylights out of first years, and here he was, at the start of a new term, doing it all over again. As he looked around himself and reminisced, he supposed it was only natural he was drawn to the place. He felt... proper. Worthy. Admirable, even. That was why he was here.

Well, that and Headmaster McGonagall had offered him the position as a professor after seeing him moping around the local textiles shop, and had even managed to take pity on the ill-faring young man. When McGonagall asked you, you just couldn't say no, now, could you?

Yoongi was a respectable gentleman, usually extremely self confident, but here he sat, curling in on himself at the Headmaster's desk and feeling like a first year again. 'Oh Yoongi,' he thought, 'you are the most cowardly Slytherin to lay a foot in this office in hundreds of years.'

"Don't bet on it, Mr Min." McGonagall smiled, and then turned to sit facing him. "I take it your application is completed?"

Yoongi pulled his logically ordered and stacked set of papers out from his brown leather messenger bag, and placed them carefully on the desk before him, then nodded.

"I would like to thank you once again for this opportunity, Headmaster." Yoongi smiled, and tried to maintain a calm attitude as McGonagall pulled the forms closer and adjusted her glasses for inspecting said papers. She waved a hand dismissively,

"Oh, no worry, Mr Min, it'll be wonderful to keep all of these barbaric young wizards and witches under control." Yoongi paused.

"Surely the student body hasn't... worsened too much since my days at Hogwarts?" He asked, furrowing his brow and leaning forwards slightly.

"I mean the staff, dearie. They are a bambling, bumbling bunch of magic folk."

The prime example came crashing into the office as soon as McGonagall's sentence closed, and as Yoongi turned around to investigate the rather disturbing banging sound, his eyes subsequently widened more than they had in the past five years since leaving Hogwarts.

"Ah, Mr Min. I assume you remember Professor Park? You two were quite the duo last I remembered."

A beat passed.

And another one.

Park Jimin was hot.

Like, holy hell. Look at him!

Look. At. Him.

Still wearing tattered robes, most likely from his Hogwarts glory at the Yule ball, and covered in who knows what but... his face, his beautiful little face, the face he'd seen ecstatic and bouncing off the walls of his compartment on the Hogwarts express (first year, they never spoke of it again), the face he'd seen slack jawed at watching him down a pint of butterbeer in four seconds and then proceeding to throw up after trying for himself- all over Yoongi's previously clean, tailored Armani suit, the face he'd seen bawling his eyes out, the face that stuck with him when no body else would and the face he'd had to say godbye to that pitiful day on the platform, back at Kings Cross.

Min Yoongi was in a state of shock, McGonagall was unreadable, as always, and Jimin had the sweetest, shiniest smile on his face, Yoongi could feel his teeth rotting.

Well, fuck him.

Yoongi let out a shaky breath, closing his eyes and swallowing. He regained his calm composure, straightening his shoulders, locked eyes with Park and smiled, closed-mouthed and sincere.

"Its good to see you, Jiminie." He didn't drop his smile while talking, and was even more compelled not to when Jimin smiled back at him, eyes forming cute little crescents.

"You too, Hyung!" He giggled, and put his hand on Yoongi's shoulder, half like an awkward brother, half like an emotional, soft girlfriend who was about to burst out crying, and Yoongi found that described Jimin rather well, so he stuck with the analogy.

"Professor Min will be taking the role of Potions Master from this year forwards. My expectation being that he has it under control," McGonagall began, eyebrows raised at the two young men, "but I must request that you, Professor Park, will keep an eye upon him as often as possible." She said, a faint smile upon her face. Jimin laughed again and bowed to McGonagall.

"Of course, Professor McGonagall. I shall look out for him as best I can." He replied, and oh my his hair was blonde and lovely and look at his cute little face-

"Thank you, Professor Park." McGonagall interrupted his thoughts, and it was at that moment that Yoongi decided upon it.

It was really good to be back.

"What was it you wanted upon your arrival, Professor?" McGonagall asked, sitting back down at her desk and shuffling Yoongi's papers. Jimin frowned and bowed his head.

"Ah, no matter, Headmaster, it can be discussed later-"

"Now now, Professor Min and I were having a wonderful discussion until you came bursting in, so there's no point in delaying your evidently urgent matter now." She spoke, clearly disapproving of Jimin's youthful behaviour. Yoongi thought she looked like an eagle staring down some poor crow tit who'd just tried to lie it's way out of her nest to safety after crash landing right into it's piercing gaze.

Yeah, that was exactly what it looked like. Yoongi held back a snort of amusement.

"Ah, yes, Professor, I mean Headmaster, I mean..." Jimin nodded vigorously, and took a breath. "I was just... I was just wondering who was to become the new head of Slytherin, since... since the thing-"

"I have appointed Professor Min to become head of Slytherin house, if he be deemed worthy so." McGonagall answered, not drawing her eyes away from the papers in her hands.

"Yes. Lovely. Well, I guess that'll be all?" Jimin grew quieter, and it even sounded like a question, and _come on Jimin_ , grow yourself a spine, you're a professor at one of the most highly esteemed wizarding schools in the world for the love of Merlin!

"Thank you for your concerns Professor Park. That will be all."

Jimin ushered himself out of the room, muttering 'yes, yes, yes' to himself as he half shuffled, half ran with his head hanging, posture slumping. Once he was out of the room, McGonagall let out a sigh. Yoongi couldn't help but agree.

"Headmaster, I-" he began, but was cut off by said woman.

"I know you are a good man, Yoongi. I've looked through your documents and you will accept the your given role as Head of Slytherin House. This is non-negotiable." McGonagall said calmly, but firmly, and Yoongi pursed his lips and nodded, maintaining eye contact. After a few moments, McGonagall looked back down at her desk. "Now, off to your quarters, Min. You have two hours precisely to settle in, and be present ten minutes prior to The Sorting Ceremony. Good day, Professor."

"Good day, Headmaster." Yoongi spoke confidently and respectfully, before turning and exiting McGonagall's office. He supposed he'd done a pretty good job there. Damn, Potions Master and Head of Slytherin House at Hogwarts. His mother would be ever so proud when she heard.

And a small part of Yoongi liked to hope his father would've been too.


	2. · Two ·

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Yoongi getting dragged around the castle by Jimin on a sugar rush. Pls send him chocolates to make him feel better and so he can wallow in self pity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I took so long to update. I FORGOT, please forgive me. Hopefully you can enjoy the new chapter! There is much more to come.

Yoongi took a deep breath when out of McGonagall's intense gaze- she was lovely, but intimidating as hell. No sooner had he rushed through a much needed breathing exercise and opened his eyes, he was met with the face he'd been trying to get out of his head since... well, since he first laid eyes on said boy. 

"Hey, hyung, could I... um- you know, do you want to to to your room- not like that, um... Oh Merlin, I mean..." Jimin began, losing his confidence as he spoke, now rather intently focused upon his feet.

"Jiminie," Yoongi took a breath, "that would be wonderful." He finished, picking up on the trail of his friend's mumbling jumble of a sentence. Perhaps he shouldn't have been so headstrong. Wonderful was a very strong word, maybe you're not meant to throw it around like that when you haven't seen the person you're trying to speak with normally for years, maybe the etiquette was different, and _fuck,_ the worry must've been evident on his face because Jimin was giggling and grabbing his had and Yoongi was not ready for this.

Jimin- and his bone crushing hold on Yoongi's wrist, it made enough impact by cutting off the blood to count as an important detail- lead Yoongi down down hallway after hallway, staircase after staircase, never stopping to reach the professors' rooms unless he came across one of the many castle ghosts he had befriended, and wanted to give them appropriate greeting, before scurrying off down a corridor, and then remembering to bring his friend-and-extremely-confused-fellow-professor with him. 

Jimin took Yoongi so far around the castle, he might've thought that he was pranking him and taking an unnecessarily long route- if he wasn't one to remember his long nightly walks, especially one in which where he was caught by Fred and George and taken to the staff rooms- obviously, after being interrogated thoroughly by them and not getting ninety percent of the words they said to his rather shocked face. It was one of his memories of Hogwarts that seemed only happy, one without further corruption now they knew of the horrors of Voldemort and the rather peculiar artefacts hidden around the castle. It was just happy, and Yoongi knew for a fact the entrepreneurial Weasley twins would take others on a wild goose Chase for the staff rooms at two in the morning, but at least for Yoongi they wouldn't be going miles further than absolutely necessary- the were considerate towards his laziness and medical conditions, thank you very much.

When they finally did reach Yoongi's room, he was breathing so deeply that he didn't notice for a good couple of minutes. When he did look up, the beautiful, intricately carved wooden door and plaque with his name on solidified that he was actually here. It was a thing. He was doing it. 

"Here ya go, hyung!" Jimin said, face forming an angelic smile that Yoongi was more than embarrassed to admit he had missed more than realistically appropriate. Apparently he'd zoned out, as he came crashing back to reality with being pushed into his room by Jimin, and promptly falling straight on his face. he stumbled up, a little dizzy, and turned to Jimin to yell at him, but he was beaten to it.

"Yoongi! Oh no oh no- your nose is bleeding! Oh Merlin, what do I do? I skipped the medical programme, oh no, oh no, oh-"

Yoongi butted in. The fact that he was so panicked over a nosebleed was completely unnecessary, Yoongi thought, but it was Jimin, so who knows what his reaction could be like. He was a bit of a drama queen.

"Jimin."

Said man cut him off, "And this is the first time I'm seeing you for ages and I don't wanna be a complete idiot, cause look at you, I just think that, oh Merlin, you're just so so-"

Yoongi laughed. He thought he'd save him the embarrassment. "Chim."

Apparently Jimin was having none of it. "You're also just so clever and cool and I don't wanna have the reputation as the idiot who decided to break your face the first time he even-"

"PARK FUCKING JIMIN."

"MIN FRIGGIN' YOONGI!"

He exhaled, "You're not twelve."

"You look like you are." Jimin smiled, then booped his nose. He even did the noise and everything. Prior point proven, anyways.

"No, I don't."

"Do too."

"Do-" Yoongi growled in frustration. He wouldn't retaliate, because he was mature, or so he told himself. Here we go again. "I thought you'd have grown up after the war. Apparently I was wrong."

Jimin laughed heartily and poked his sides. "Aww, but hyung, you are still so small! You haven't grown!"

Yoongi wasn't here to be bullied. He could tell McGonagall, get him sent to detention. She probably wouldn't care, but he could do it- no. No retaliation.

"...Chim, you little troublemaker."

"I respect your opinion, Professor Min. Sir. See, I can pay respect. I am your humble student." Jimin said, saluting.

"Humble? Not quite."

Jimin burst into fits of laughter. He hit Yoongi on the back softly, walking across the corridor to his room, and then yelling over his shoulder.

"I'll see you in an hour, okay?"

Yoongi breathed out a laugh, closing his door moments after replying with a happy "Sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments upon my services are always appreciated greatly, good or bad, cheers lads.  
> Kudos is also nice- it'd make my day, and you'd get a free invisible, holographic Tesla. I may or may not still need that SpaceX sponsorship. Please Elon. Please.


End file.
